I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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