we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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