Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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