This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just found puke in my bra..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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