oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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