I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
