You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
