I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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