my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
