we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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