I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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