Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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