margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We smell like vodka and hangover
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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