My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
