I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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