he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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