The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
