maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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