why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
