forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
