I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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