That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
4 words: hood of his car
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
