8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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