And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
