The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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