The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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