she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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