Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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