Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
