I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
A+ Viking dick
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
