Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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