im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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