You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
