I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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