I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
