It's Friday. Sex?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
