She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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