I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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