its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
