Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I want to make a zoo with you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
