im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
