Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
