I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
