he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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