I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
