The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
