Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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