YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
