How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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