People with herpes should wear stickers.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
