I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just google imaged poop.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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