Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
