My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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