i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
